Ive realized that life is indeed full of contradictions..

Sometimes it's crazy to be sane, you need to fall to fly, people suffer because you care..

You have to unlearn to know the lesson, you have to give up because you are strong, you have to be wrong to make things right..

Nonetheless, life's complexities are also life's source of beauty..

We should cry to laugh again, fall apart to be whole again...

AND GET HURT TO LOVE AGAIN...

sponge_cola19

ok...so now youre mad...wow...thats good news for me...kksbe ko lng knina n wg k mglet eh...wow...thanks for making my life a little more complicated...i really appreciate it...so...hide and seek..gnito ung scenario nmen sa ym...my stat msg was"sna mgonlyn ka...klangan ktang mkausap"...den ngonlyn xa...so i was happy na..tpos bgla xang ngoflyn...well..i doubted it...kaia i ask les so here's d rest of d story..

leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:09:04 PM): sino si cabading sorry offline pa
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:09:16 PM): gaga...hinde!..
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:10:07 PM): yiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:10:17 PM): whatever..
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:10:43 PM):
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:11:03 PM):
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:45:04 PM): hoy!
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:45:24 PM): O BKET?...
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:45:45 PM): galing ko noh!
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:45:53 PM): ha?.
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:46:00 PM): special yung ym ko... pinapakita kung sino invisible

leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:46:01 PM): hahahha
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:46:19 PM): no one can escape!
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:46:28 PM): whatever...
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:46:40 PM): seryoso ako
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:46:47 PM): si rory invisible ngayon
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:47:16 PM): si maika din at bea
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:47:49 PM): joke si rory hindi pero si maika oo
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:48:57 PM): ok...friend mo b c *toot* s ym..
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:49:16 PM): no

leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:49:19 PM): bat naman?
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:49:27 PM): sige add ko ani id??
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:49:49 PM): add mo siya ts tngnan mo kng invi sya..kc ngaway n nman kme eh...
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:50:04 PM): ano ba yan
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:50:06 PM): hayyyyy
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:50:22 PM): pls...salamat...dme ko n fvor saio..
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:51:19 PM): ano nga i.d. ya?
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:51:31 PM): w8
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:51:50 PM): *toot*

eurayuste (7/15/99 7:53:54 PM): o?..

leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:53:55 PM): done
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:54:00 PM): and?..
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:54:29 PM): ewan wait
eurayuste (7/15/99 7:54:36 PM): oki
leslie_bear (7/15/99 7:55:15 PM): ONLINE SIYA MAN..

eurayuste (7/15/99 7:55:44 PM): sbe na eh!aaahhhhhhh!i hate it....online sya saio...

...tpos ngplit ako ng stat msg kc invi dn ako...sbe ko.."OH YES...lets play..hide and seek...SINONG INVISIBLE?..."

pngasar ba...sori naa...nainis lng ako...anyway...

last line is...

"I LOVE YOU...SO PLEASE DONT HATE ME..."

sponge_cola19

to my PILLOW/fudGE/babY/LoVes/baBes/EVERYTHING/miNe/miNamahal ko/bOo...[uhmm no p ba?.. ]

...hey..i miss you like hell...sorry if i dont talk to you that much anymore..sobrang dami kong ginagawa...hope you understand...damn.now i realize that:

1.i LOVE you more and more and more and more......repeat till forever...

2.i dont have time for you anymore.

3.im losing you..

4.I MISS YOU!...

..GOD...i need help...I want to have 48 hours in a day and spend the whole time with her..ugh...ang hirap ng maraming ginagawa...sana binabasa mo tong blog ko ngayon kase miss na talaga kita..kahit gusto kong unahin ka.di pwede kase ayokong bumagsak dahil pag may bagsak ako..lagot na!...mas grounded na ko..ginagawa ko naman to para sa tin eh..kaya sana wag kang magtampo/mainis o magalet...kasi mahihirapan ako lalo...i mean...marami na nga akong ginagawa tapos madedepress pa ko...mabuhay pa kaya ako niyan...anyway...just take care of yourself...at kumain ka lagi...and remember that your PILLOW is always here...kahit busy ako...kung kailangan mo ko just tell me ok?...wag kang maghesitate na lumapit/tumawag/magtext...ok?..i love you soooooooooo much...mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita...at sobrang miss na kita...*kees*

...one more thing...if youre wondering why i dont approach you when i see you or im "avoiding" you...

why do i stay for you?i try to leave but i cant."ive had it..."has always been my escape line.i love you so much and you know that.in all that weve been through this is the only thing that's certain.i know saying this will not prove to you that i love you.And why will i even bother?Im not improtant to you right?Remember what you told me.

"MAKIKIPAGCOOL-OFF KA?..OK..WALA LANG NAMAN SA KIN UN EH."

you shouldve just ended it.i dont want to believe what other people are saying.but slowly, things are much clearer now.im seeing things that i dont see before or i see them but i dont look at them.suddenly this perfect picture i painted is turning to an ugly and disappointing picture.its so disappointing that i dont want to look at it anymore.i try to walk away but my love for you is holding me back.its stronger than me.to the point that its slowly crushing me to pieces.and by the way, you're still putting my entire life on hold.i just hope that it will be worth the wait because im getting tired of waiting.

YOU DONT WANT ME TIRED AGAIN.

and one more thing.

THANKS FOR SAYING YOU LOVE ME TOO.

Why is it so hard to leave that person you love?Even if you're relatinship's going nowhere and she keeps on complaining bout your goddamn attitude.Whoo...this is too much for me...I have spent my entire night crying myself to sleep and thinking about you.I dont know what to do anymore.There's still part of me that wants to stay.But the other part is tired and wants to go.My WHOLE life is currently on hold because of you.Thanks.You tell me you love me, but why cant you accept things as they are.If you love me you should let things be.You know I love you and i want to do everything just to make you happy.Im willing to stay if there's still a reason for me to do so.But leaving you is the right thing to do even it will only crush me to pieces.You know how much you mean to me.So please...

Stop putting my WHOLE life on hold.And if you still want me to stay.Tell me.FAST.You know I love you.But staying for you is like holding on to something that is slowly letting you go.But one thing's for sure...I  love you...